Most Parenting Guides Begin With The Question How Can We Get Kids To Do What They Re Told And Then Proceed To Offer Various Techniques For Controlling Them In This Truly Groundbreaking Book, Nationally Respected Educator Alfie Kohn Begins Instead By Asking What Do Kids Need And How Can We Meet Those Needs What Follows From That Question Are Ideas For Working With Children Rather Than Doing Things To Them One Basic Need All Children Have, Kohn Argues, Is To Be Loved Unconditionally, To Know That They Will Be Accepted Even If They Screw Up Or Fall Short Yet Conventional Approaches To Parenting Such As Punishments Including Time Outs , Rewards Including Positive Reinforcement , And Other Forms Of Control Teach Children That They Are Loved Only When They Please Us Or Impress Us Kohn Cites A Body Of Powerful, And Largely Unknown, Research Detailing The Damage Caused By Leading Children To Believe They Must Earn Our Approval That S Precisely The Message Children Derive From Common Discipline Techniques, Even Though It S Not The Message Most Parents Intend To Send More Than Just Another Book About Discipline, Though, Unconditional Parenting Addresses The Ways Parents Think About, Feel About, And Act With Their Children It Invites Them To Question Their Most Basic Assumptions About Raising Kids While Offering A Wealth Of Practical Strategies For Shifting From Doing To To Working With Parenting Including How To Replace Praise With The Unconditional Support That Children Need To Grow Into Healthy, Caring, Responsible People This Is An Eye Opening, Paradigm Shattering Book That Will Reconnect Readers To Their Own Best Instincts And Inspire Them To Become Better Parents
Alfie Kohn writes and speaks widely on human behavior, education, and parenting The author of eleven books and scores of articles, he lectures at education conferences and universities as well as to parent groups and corporations.Kohn s criticisms of competition and rewards have been widely discussed and debated, and he has been described in Time magazine as perhaps the country s most outspoken critic of education s fixation on grades and test scores Kohn lives actually in the Boston area with his wife and two children, and virtually at www.alfiekohn.org.
- 272 pages
- Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
- Alfie Kohn
- 28 February 2019 Alfie Kohn